I bought a book in a charity shop yesterday. Just before she pressed a particular button on the cash register, the lady behind the counter looked over her glasses at me and said “Can I take it you’re over 21?”. I said “Could you be any more patronising?” Giving me my change, she happily obliged: “Look”, she said, “shiny coins”.
“He’s a Geordie cunt”, the guy at the bar said. Then, acknowledging the presence of women, he corrected himself: “Sorry, Geordie bastard”. This is what passes for civilised discourse in Egremont. I’m here for the night; I wasn’t thinking straight…
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