Shopping...

I don’t enjoy shopping, and I’m a bit out of touch with the requirements of a 21st century household. When I walked into Homebase and asked to see their top-of-the-range mangle, I was met with blank stares. Imbeciles!

I bought a second-hand, king-size, bed frame, to go with the second-hand mattress. I’m no push-over and I know how to haggle. With the mattress being heavily bloodstained, I demanded - and got - a heavy discount. Unless it was a heavy discharge. Either way, it’ll be fine once it ’s dried out, though I’m going to need help to get it up the stairs.

When I tried to buy a bog-standard electric kettle, I found they were all either futuristic or retro. What’s that all about? The slow cooker, at least, is great: it takes ten minutes to prepare the ingredients for a stew which will feed me today and tomorrow (and I don't have to be around while it cooks).

The Morrisons in Goole. How many other supermarkets can boast a windmill?